For the love of Dolly. A lesson in boundaries.

For the love of Dolly. A lesson in boundaries.

I love Dolly Parton. Like really love her.

I remember seeing her on the Oprah show in the early 2000’s. Dolly talked about the importance of being humble - and the fact that she once lost a Dolly Parton drag competition. And she just laughed. That laugh.

I was completely hooked. You see, I have always loved her music. That twang, the sauciness. I adored 9 to 5 and all of the empowerment around gender equity. However, it was seeing her on the television, in person, just being herself that I realized how unapologetically and unabashedly Dolly she is. In a grounded, loving way – from the core of her being.

It was Dolly who taught – and is still teaching me – about boundaries.

Insurrections and Whitewater preparedness

Insurrections and Whitewater preparedness

I missed writing last week and I am finding myself a little behind. The events of January 6, the insurrection or coup or display of white supremacy in action – that happened in my city. In the city of 712,000 residents. Now we are occupied by a military force of over 20,000 national guardsmen. Bridges connecting one part of the city to the other are closing down. The late notice of which is causing massive trauma for those who need to access essential services, travel in, out and around this city. And yet this morning I walked along the Anacostia river waving to neighbors I see on my daily walk, marveling at the crisp sunshine and sad that armed Coast Guard boats were trolling in the water.

Pulling the Death Card

Pulling the Death Card

New Year’s Day is a ritual day for me. I want to move, to do deep introspection. And usually I pull a card. A tarot card.

Last year on New Year’s Eve I attended a workshop hosted by Michelle Cassandra Johnson. She had this lovely deck, her deck, the Transverse Deck. We all pulled cards from that deck before the practice. I pulled the death card.

Now, before you gasp or think “how appropriate for 2020” – tarot cards aren’t good or bad, but simply a tool. Ask the deck something and use it as a guide to probe deeper.

The death card? Well, that is all about transformation, shedding, grieving, loss. The questions we might ask ourselves is – what do I have to shed? What is no longer serving me? What is it that I have to grieve and let go of in order to move on?

On Stolen Land, Complex Histories and Pie*

On Stolen Land, Complex Histories and Pie*

I have a complicated relationship with my mother. Strike that. I have a non-existent relationship with my mother. Too many years of trying to understand cycles of abuse, a history that is fraught and reconciling that just because someone is family does not mean you have to have a relationship with them. However, I do love my mother. I just can’t be in relationship with her.

This may seem like a strange way to start a Thanksgiving post, but it is what I can’t stop thinking about – these strained relationships and how we come to terms with them. This holiday is built on abuse, destruction and taking. It has also come to mean gathering, feasting and connecting. Giving thanks.

And pies.